Day 16: Feeling the Burn

I woke up hungry this morning.  Lowering my carb intake is noticeable.  Plus I had another cookie obsessed dream last night.  This time I resembled cookie monster.  Don't worry team Blue, I'm still on the right track, sticking with the PCP diet and exercise 100%.  It is getting easier to not have the urges throughout the day when I'm awake but guess the urge has to come out somewhere, and that's in my dreams.

This mornings workout was definitely challenging.  I took Patrick's email to heart and made sure I was doing each exercise correctly.  Even pushed for a few more reps in each exercise, well except push-ups.  Those were killer.  It definitely sends a burning sensation to the muscles with only 20 sec breaks.  Guess I just need to trudge through those and hopefully I'll get better at them with time.

Day 13: Uuubber prepared

So I took the advice from Patrick (somewhat) and had a friend cut my bulk load of vegetables.  We rotated in shifts, steaming various types of veggies - from carrots to mushrooms to sweet potatoes.  Then I placed them all in a large tupperware bin and said, "Wow! I can't believe I'm going to eat all these veggies - EEK!"  I packed my food for the next two days and now I feel uubber prepared, and I got back some of my "me time" back.

Last night was a rough sleep.  I had a dream filled with anxiety.  It involved me baking cookies, followed by torment over if I should eat the cookies and then in the end, I gave in and ate the cookies.  I woke up thinking I actually cheated on my PCP and truly ate cookies.  But I didn't, not a cookie in my house, not a cookie was baked, no lingering smell of freshly baked goodies.  This is ridiculous!

I'm sticking to the diet, I am full but I am not happy with what I'm eating.  My tastebuds miss the fat and the awesomeness of chocolate.  It's such a paradox being full but not being content.  I'll keep trudging through this diet though.  It's hard to see any pleasure in the food I eat, and for now, I view it as fuel.  It's not like I'm not trying either, I'm trying out different fresh herbs and seasonings but when it comes down to it, it's missing the fat and the salt.

OK enough about food.  The jump rope is getting tougher.  I find I'm messing up more and more.  Maybe just the counting is driving me bonkers, I'd really rather go for time.  The exercises are going pretty well, I think I finally got the standing ovation right, but for the rowing it's tough finding the right space in my apartment to get enough resistance.  I've noticed that there is not as much pain in my knee joints as of late, and I'm encouraged by that.   

Day 10: Fear and Loathing in the big F

Today's my mom's birthday and I just spent some time talking to her on the phone.  I thought I would be able to surprise her this weekend by making the 9 hour drive but unfortunately, work will not allow me to do so.  I'm closing a contract and thought I'd be further along in my final report but alas I am not.  So now is not the ideal time for me to take a trip.  Bummerz.

I'm not going to lie, I've been having serious doubts about this diet.  It just feels so easy to cheat, like I may just forget I'm on the PCP diet.  I now know I am a moody eater.  I find myself daydreaming about getting my mood enhancer food fix and it's almost feels like I messed up the diet just by thinking about it!  I feel like I may sleep walk and eat my roommate's food!  I have revised my daily schedule, taking the time to cook, workout and do everything else I need to do throughout the day.

Starting this new diet mid-week was a bit challenging.  In the past three days, I've spent over 7 hours cooking/prepping, guess that's not a lot, but for me, it's a lot.  My old diet consisted of me eating at inconsistent times and portion size was overlooked.  It was a lifestyle where I had 7 hours to do something else other than cook.  I miss those 7 hours of which I might have done nothing but they were 7 free hours of my choice.  I understood PCP is a lifestyle change but I didn't really know how much until now.

It is interesting to be full on good, clean food but I've discovered that there's a voice in my head saying, "Hey that's nice, but I'd like some chocolate soon."  And so far I have chosen to ignore the voice, but the longer I wait to appease it the louder it gets.  But I keep carrying on with the prepared food and snacks and eventually the voice subsides and it appears to give up for the day.  I like to imagine it going off into a corner a pout.  I am full, satisfied but I never really knew this crazy food voice in side me until now.  Probably because it always won in the past.  I guess it's an adjustment period, but right now I feel so emotionally unsettled with food. 

In conclusion, what I'm saying is that it's day 3 and I'm having a tough time.  I'm having a hard time believing in the achievement of my goal of awesome muscle tone and feeling good about my body.  I'm having a tough time thinking that if I work hard at this diet thing, I will see changes in my body.  I understand I should look forward to all these new foods I can try and the good habits I'll develop, but I am missing a few of my old food friends.  Having restrictions has made me more aware of the daily temptations around me.  The only positive thing I can think of  is that I'm not alone.  So if I cheat, I let down not only myself but my team too.  It is a good motivator to know that others are going thru this with me and Team Blue is on my side.

GO TEAM BLUE!!

Day 8: Grape Ape!

I think it was an 80's Saturday morning cartoon which used the phrase, "Grape Ape!  Grape Ape!"  And oddly enough, I believe it was called the Grape Ape show.  Anyhoo, I found myself pulling from the roots of my childhood and using this phrase as I prepped for today's meals.  It was "crazy" weighing out food portions.  Grape Ape!  I really had no idea what 140g of vegetables looked like.  Grape Ape!  Breakfast was a whole grain flat bread with 1 sliced hard boiled egg and steamed sweet potatoes tucked inside.  Subbed yogurt for the milk today.  After breakfast, I felt delightfully full.  Grape Ape!  What's remarkable is that I don't feel weighed down or lethargic.  I know, I know it's my first official PCP breakfast but honestly, I feel like I ate good, fresh food with no butter/oil/salt/extra fat effecting the meal.  Grape Ape!  Got my snacks and lunch prepared to get me through the day, but I'm going to have to go shopping tonight because I've got nothing for dinner.  It's tough adjusting to this new routine of prepping/cooking my meals.  I like challenges though.

Today should go by quickly, lots of reports to do and one meeting in the afternoon.  Practice after work.  The volleyball team played their first conference match last night and lost miserably.  Practice should be pretty intense today, with coaches fueled by the lack of effort we saw last night on the court.  The players better come ready to practice tonight!  Then it's off to do the Day 8 workout.  I'm ready for the floor (Hot Chip fan indeed)!

Day 5: Beautiful Dayzzz

The past few days have been busy and productive.  The workouts are coming along easily.  Although, the push-ups are getting harder.  I've gone out and obtained the necessary the equipment for the future PCP.  It's been great weather this weekend and I've made time to do my workout in the morning, so I can enjoy the day.  I went golfing yesterday, shot pretty well.  Food has been tough though.  I've been hungry for the past two nights, so I drink water and then have to use the restroom throughout the night.

Also, I've signed up for the warrior dash, a 3.14 mile muddy, obstacle run to occur in mid-October.  So I got something to look forward to. 

Day 2: Good Times

My volleyball team lost last night, but in retrospect, I've never seen them play better!  They showed a lot of heart and we'll play them again, so REMATCH!  This staying positive thing isn't so hard after all.

OK, onto PCP, the day went by pretty fast.  Breakfast wasn't as sad even though I ate just the other half of yesterday's breakfast.  No temptations at work, well OK, I wish I could've had my full cup of joe, but I stuck with the half-sies.  Overall no hunger pangs today, but I do need to drink more water.  I need to just set a timer at work so I take breaks to go get water.  That is tomorrow's goal!

I usually like working out in the morning, but I'm finding working out in the evening is better for me with my fall schedule.  The workout was nice and easy, like I said in yesterday's post, it's just nice to get in the gym again with a set plan.  I am jealous of those that do choose to do the workout at first wake, it is such a nice accomplished feeling to experience throughout the day.  Maybe I'll switch it later, but for now the evening workouts are feeling alright.

On another note, it is so weird, I'm watching Grey's Anatomy and it's the episode where a shooter is terrorizing the hospital and yet, in real life today, a shooter put a Baltimore Hospital in a lock down situation.

Day 1: Sabotage

  When I decided that PCP was the right thing for me, I had been preparing myself mentally for a ninety day "detox" for a couple of weeks prior to its start.  So as the last night of "old ways" commenced, I had pizza.  Ooeey-gooey, cheesy goodness.  I ate till I had my full and felt bloated.  I started to get worried about self-sabotage for tomorrow- Day 1 of PCP, so I went for a 30 minute walk to help me feel better.  When I returned, I read the week one email and found that I could eat mostly the same, just halving everything.  Well that's no bueno, I dislike the way I eat, often going past hunger pangs and then eating too large of a quantity, sporadically.  I do this most often 'cause I just don't think about eating during the day, especially when I'm busy thus sending my body in starvation mode.  Ah well, I do plan on keeping it in check though and am ready to give PCP my all.

  Day 1: I was still awake at 12:22am and thought to myself I'm 22 minutes into my first day of PCP, not so bad.  Haha! I really didn't even start - although technically I was correct in my statement.  I did eventually get to bed.  Woke up surprising feeling OK body wise.  Breakfast was sad, halving my yogurt and toast, well it left me experiencing the hunger pangs just early in my day.  Had a couple of meetings as well and my stomach did more talking than I did. 

  The workout was nice and chill.  I like jump roping, I'm just excited to have a set program again.  I worked in 30 minutes of cardio.  So I embrace this easier time, I'm excited and eager for change.  But I'll be patient. 

  Well time to go coach a volleyball match.  I hope we win.  I always sleep easier when we win.  Who me?  What? Competitive? Nah...well yes, just a little.

Alright!

Ellen is going to ROCK IT!