Today's my mom's birthday and I just spent some time talking to her on the phone. I thought I would be able to surprise her this weekend by making the 9 hour drive but unfortunately, work will not allow me to do so. I'm closing a contract and thought I'd be further along in my final report but alas I am not. So now is not the ideal time for me to take a trip. Bummerz.
I'm not going to lie, I've been having serious doubts about this diet. It just feels so easy to cheat, like I may just forget I'm on the PCP diet. I now know I am a moody eater. I find myself daydreaming about getting my mood enhancer food fix and it's almost feels like I messed up the diet just by thinking about it! I feel like I may sleep walk and eat my roommate's food! I have revised my daily schedule, taking the time to cook, workout and do everything else I need to do throughout the day.
Starting this new diet mid-week was a bit challenging. In the past three days, I've spent over 7 hours cooking/prepping, guess that's not a lot, but for me, it's a lot. My old diet consisted of me eating at inconsistent times and portion size was overlooked. It was a lifestyle where I had 7 hours to do something else other than cook. I miss those 7 hours of which I might have done nothing but they were 7 free hours of my choice. I understood PCP is a lifestyle change but I didn't really know how much until now.
It is interesting to be full on good, clean food but I've discovered that there's a voice in my head saying, "Hey that's nice, but I'd like some chocolate soon." And so far I have chosen to ignore the voice, but the longer I wait to appease it the louder it gets. But I keep carrying on with the prepared food and snacks and eventually the voice subsides and it appears to give up for the day. I like to imagine it going off into a corner a pout. I am full, satisfied but I never really knew this crazy food voice in side me until now. Probably because it always won in the past. I guess it's an adjustment period, but right now I feel so emotionally unsettled with food.
In conclusion, what I'm saying is that it's day 3 and I'm having a tough time. I'm having a hard time believing in the achievement of my goal of awesome muscle tone and feeling good about my body. I'm having a tough time thinking that if I work hard at this diet thing, I will see changes in my body. I understand I should look forward to all these new foods I can try and the good habits I'll develop, but I am missing a few of my old food friends. Having restrictions has made me more aware of the daily temptations around me. The only positive thing I can think of is that I'm not alone. So if I cheat, I let down not only myself but my team too. It is a good motivator to know that others are going thru this with me and Team Blue is on my side.
GO TEAM BLUE!!
This is great honesty Ellen, thanks for being so open about it! I think it's great that you're sticking things out so well.
ReplyDeleteIs there anything you can do to help make the cooking time "more fun" to help it be a better replacement for the 'nothing' time you've stolen? I think once we're home, it'll be a similar feel for us as well... I think we're pretty spoiled at the moment, what with not being in the real world.
Stay strong!
The cooking time will go down as you get better at this. It'll never take as long as it did this week!
ReplyDeleteI find that the longer I ignore a craving, the smaller it gets. Maybe you can think of your craving as a blowfish--it's inflating now to impress you with its size, but soon will deflate and swim off when it can't intimidate you. Also, Patrick is right--it takes less and less time to prepare food as the program continues.
ReplyDeleteYeah, Fish, thanks for writing about this. It is hard, but it's NOT impossible and remember it's SO temporary! We're over 10% done! Think about Christmas (if you celebrate it) or new years, or day 91 for that matter. Project your energy and thoughts behind your cravings forward to that day. Tell yourself that on that day, you will give in to any craving you have, but just not yet. Maybe the mind will accept knowing that day is coming. And then breathe deeply. Also, when I get snacky I drink a large glass of water. Satisfying, no... but it fills a gurgling stomach. We're with you until the end!
ReplyDeleteit's ok to miss your old food friends. what helped me was that louise used to say that the world will not run out of chocolate in these 90 days so you can have it (if you still want it) when you're done. the days will start flying soon. trust me. i can't believe it's day 89 already!
ReplyDeleteTeam Orange is with you too!
ReplyDeletePick 3 - 4 meals that you really like, and spend the time up front to steam it, cut it, prep it and cook lots of extras. One time doing all of that should give you 3 - 4 days of meals!
Dinner for me after work today took all of 10 minutes. All fresh and all very yummy.
Stick with it!